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 My storybook


  1. Hi Chris!

    I just read your storybook introduction.

    I think it's really interesting that you've decided to give Kintaro cosmic origins, it's similar to the being born to a supernatural being but takes it a step further and adds a layer to it. I also like that you tie these origins into the final conflict at the end. I agree that just a title is a very underwhelming accomplishment for someone who had super strength as a child, and the conflict of defeating an enemy that will threaten the galaxy in your retelling will be a much more intriguing read. The additional drama added here was a great choice.

    I think your storybook will be very intriguing, and I think it may pull the reader in a bit more initially if you expand upon his adulthood. You go into detail about his childhood and touch on his final challenge, but the other aspects of his adulthood are also interesting and would allow the reader to get a bit more invested!

  2. Hey Chris,
    I read the introduction on your storybook.

    I like that you made Kintaro's origin as cosmic origins. It kind of reminds me of Guardian of the Galaxy, and how Peter is a half-celestial being. I think it's cool that your plan is to keep his childhood story the same. If it ain't broke don't fix it is what I always say. Fighting an enemy that threatens the galaxy sounds crazy and dangerous. I like that you kept with your space theme because I remember you said you like astronomy. Does Kintaro have any other superpowers? I would imagine fighting someone with galaxy-threatening level with only super strength would be tough. Minor detail but you have a typo in your middle paragraph with Kintaro's name. Overall, I really like this idea and I'm curious what kind of a villain this is. Is the villain going to be planetary wise like Galactus? Is it something wild like a cosmic dragon? Or is it just man vs. man (or alien conqueror) type of villain like Ronan? Good luck with your story and don't forget to have fun with it!

  3. Howdy Chris!

    I really enjoyed reading your intro for Kintaro. I appreciated the maps you put in to show Kintaro's birthplaces (I actually spent a week or so just East of Mount Ashigara in Yokohama a few years back). I think you do an excellent job both laying out the traditional stories of Kintaro and how you plan to adapt them and make them your own. I can't wait to find out what intergalactic foe Kintaro will be facing. Do you plan on drawing from other Japanese folklore for this or coming up with a villain entirely of your own design?

    The origin story you've written for Kintaro is also really fun! I can't help but be reminded of Superman/Clark Kent with the story of a baby from outer space possessed of super powers being found by a couple of farmers. I like that, aside from his unnatural strength, Kintaro is still just a baby who needs raising like any other, even if he learns fast. I wonder how his farm boy upbringing will affect his personality in future stories and what prompts him to go become a hero. I can't wait to read more of your stories. Great work, man!

  4. Hello Chris

    We don't get to hear about Japanese folk tales too often, as we usually end up interacting with Greco-Roman myths, so it is fun to read a unique story. Your story really has a lot of little personal touches in that are really fun! So far, from reading your intro and your first story, touches of your personality and life can be found in the story of Kintaro, as all good author's stories should.

    I like that Kintaro's origins are slightly different from the original, but they still have the same mystical feeling, since outer space is still a big question mark for us. I think it would be cool if some mystical being had heard the prayers of the farmer and his wife, and Kintaro was sent to them in response. Also, I think I would scream if I found a random baby in my kitchen, so kudos to the farmer.

    Since his father is an orange farmer, Kintaro could have oranges as his favorite snack when he takes breaks from his adventures! But obviously he would probably need a lot more snacks to fuel his strength.

    Good luck with the rest of your storybook! I hope to check in on Kintaro's adventures from time to time.

  5. Hi Chris!

    I just read through your storybook — it's great! Your homepage is eye catching! I think the addition of the Google Maps for Japan was a great idea as well. I don't know much about Japanese folk tales, so I found this story to be interesting. The introduction you wrote for Kintaro was interesting, and it made me want to learn more about this story.

    After reading the origin story, I was reminded a bit of Goku and it made me think of the beginnings of Dragon Ball. This was such a cute story, and I'm excited to read the rest of it. Good luck with it!

  6. Hi Chris! I just saw your storybook and it is looking really great already! Your introduction seemed thorough and I like that you included the two different maps that relate to your story. I do not know much about Japan's folklore or its geography so the introduction and maps helped a lot. I also read your first story. Your story read very easily and I was eager to keep reading. I liked that there was mystery and suspense to it. It makes me wonder who sent the baby down to the parents and what will the parents do with the baby. Your authors note alps helps explain Japanese folklore some more which helps me understand the story and its origins more. I like that you took different parts from different stories to make your own, I am excited and eager to see what else will happen with the mysterious baby and the new parents.

  7. Hi Chris, I read the introduction to your storybook and really enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed how you gave details about the general direction of the story. The information about Kintaro’s childhood is very helpful as you can see how his childhood kind of led him to having all these adventures. The background information about each section of the storybook is also useful as it helps the reader understand exactly what each section will be about. I also enjoyed how you mentioned how the stories have different versions and how the details of each story depend on the version you listen to. It really helps to clear up any confusion for someone that may be familiar with a different version of the story. I wonder how the different versions of the story came to be. Was it originally based on one story that branched off over time or were there two different versions from the beginning?

  8. Chris,

    I really enjoyed reading your introduction as well as the origin story! I thought you did a great job with tieing in different elements of multiple stories as well as your own life. I love that you have it taking place near the father's orange farm because your uncle in Japan has an orange farm! I thought that was a great first touch. I wanted to ask maybe how Kintaro got his crazy super strength. I know your story talks about how the parents discovered him, and I loved the outer space theme. However, I think it would be super awesome to possibly learn how his powers came to be! One suggestion I have is you mentioned how it was hard for Kintaro to make friends, so in one story you could give some insight on how Kinatro feels about his powers. Does he like them or not? What do his parents think about them?

  9. Hello Chris,

    Your introduction alone got me excited about your project. I like that you posted pictures of maps. The maps ad a nice visual for the differing locations for the Kinataro's birth. Will you be including his childhood through adulthood in your story? I like that you will be having an outer space aspect to your story. It kind of reminds me of Superman and how he was adopted by the Kent's. Will your version include him making friends? Will he be afraid his powers may hurt people? I am curious about his enemy and what kind of threat they will pose to the galaxy.

    You added a personal touch drawing inspiration from your uncle's orange farm in Okinawa. I bet it is beautiful. I am looking forward to reading your story.

  10. Hi Chris, great job with this storybook! First off, I love the site design. The banner images are beautiful and high-quality, and I like that you add multiple images to each page of text as well. The addition of interactive maps was also great. One thing you might consider is trying to make the images match more stylistically. “Home” and “Origin” both have starry skies as banner images, but “Intro” doesn’t. I like the banner image on that page, but it’s a little lower quality and might fit better embedded somewhere in the text. In your first story, each image is pretty different stylistically, which could be distracting for some readers. When it comes to writing, I think I already left a comment on your first story so I’ll focus on the introduction. I can tell you have thoroughly researched your topic, and I like how focused you are, examining the life of one character. One thing you might look into is changing the tone slightly—you say “I will” or “I want” a lot, making it sound like a plan for yourself rather than a guide for readers. Perhaps taking the “I” out of some sentences will help with that. I’m looking forward to seeing your progress!

  11. Hi Chris! That's such a beautiful picture you have on your Storybook's homepage! It really set the tone for your stories. I love that you're adding an outer space, sci-fi twist on this Japanese story. I wasn't familiar with Kintaro before reading your Introduction, so I appreciated how thorough you were with describing the differences in legends (even adding a map to help people like me who don't know Japan geography!). These pages were written so well that I don't have many suggestions! One of the things I might suggest for additional details might be the wife's reaction to seeing the baby--did she have a similar reaction to the farmer, or was she more surprised? I wonder if you're planning on incorporating the red dragon into future chapters at all, since you said that was your favorite origin story. Will people be surprised that the farmer and his wife have a child now? I'm eager to find out what happens next!

  12. Hello Chris! I really like your story so far! I think its really creative that you took things from two different stories to create your own Kintaro origin story. It's cool that you were able to connect it to your real life, as well. I think that will help you write really good additions in the story later. I also liked the introduction. I've never read the Kintaro legends, but having the background you provided really helped me to understand who Kintaro was and what was going on. I also like how you laid out how the story was going to flow, but you did not give too much info into what was going to happen. For my last point, good illustrations and setup for the page! I really liked all the pictures you used and think they add to the story well. Also I thought it was helpful how you used the two different maps of Japan. Good job on your story so far!

  13. Hi Chris!
    This was a great story to read, it was informational on general Japanese mythology and entertaining for the reader. In the intro it was a different and unique approach to use a maps to place you characters origins. The story you choose with Kintaro really let you express your creativity as a writer. I am glad that you chose not to go with the usual ending of a boring life. The ending does indeed befit someone of Kintaro reputation.
    The Cosmic origins of Kintaro really spiced up his origin story, it felt like I was reading something out of a classic marvel comic! Something like an egg seemed comical that would go on to hatch a superhuman. It was a happy ending for the couple that they ended up with a son when they could not conceive. You mentioned that in the original story the boy came from a giant peach, that is just really odd.

  14. Hi, Chris. I liked your story. I was playing a movie in my mind when I was reading about the thunderstorm and the meteor crashing on the mountain. I was reminded of Hercules, then Superman, Goku, and then Mark Grayson from "Invincible." I've been aware of the comic series Invincible for some time, but I never actually read it. There's a show on Amazon now, so that's probably the only reason I thought of it.

    I've never heard of Kintaro before. Were you already aware of him before you read the story and wrote about him? I think you retold the story really well so far. I look forward to reading about the new you're going to write. There was one sentence in your last story that needed to be updated, but other than I couldn't find anything wrong with your writing. It's great when you can focus on the content rather than the format!

  15. Hi Chris, I just read through your stories on Kintaro and his origins and I have to say it was a great read and some solid writing! Your introduction was very helpful in explaining how your stories would go and knowing the location made it easier to visualize where everything was taking place. I enjoyed how Kintaro had cosmic origins and came out of a golden egg. You did a very good job setting up the background of the farmers and their lives, and the origin story was paced very well with no downtime while reading each paragraph. I wish that there was more to his life story though, as it felt like a cliffhanger when I read that Kintaro simply left to be a hero for the cosmos, with no other details on what would happen to him. Your writing is quite the enjoyable read, I hope to see more content from you like this!

  16. Howdy again Chris!
    I was really happy to see your story book pop up in the randomizer for me this week as I really enjoyed reading your intro and origin story a month or so ago and couldn't wait to see where you'd go with your telling or Kintaro's legend. Having now read your second and third stories, I can definitively say I was not disappointed! In between my first comment back in March and today, I read the Kintaro tales in the Un-Textbook for myself and I love what you've done with them. I completely agree with you that Kintaro's original ending as "Chief of the Four Braves" is a bit anticlimactic and I think the one you've written for him is much more satisfying. In addition to being more fitting to Kintaro's heroic potential, I also liked the fact that Kintaro saving the galaxy came at a cost. The fact that it wasn't a 100% happily ever after for everybody helps your story feel a little more real (even if the main character can punch apart asteroids with his fists).

  17. Hey Chris,
    I believe this is my second time visiting your storybook and I can say I like the style of it. I think each image you used on your respective stories look really great. I felt like each image complemented the theme of the story well. This week our focus is on images and giving feedback as to our experience of the images. Specifically, on your story Kintaro's Childhood I felt as if each image was useful in setting the tone and expressing your story. Besides your great use of images each story was really written and very interesting. I'm interested to see what you will do and what images you'll use in your next story. One suggestion I may give is when browsing for your images it is useful to think of them as something to convey a message quickly. Other than that your page looks really nice. Keep up the good work!

  18. Hey Chris,
    First of all, I really enjoy the layout of your storybook. The pictures are visually appealing as well as align with elements of the stories. Regarding the "Final Journey" story, I like your opening two paragraphs. I was a little uncertain of the time period after your story "Life", but I'm assuming this is Kintaro's major quest that his life has been leading up to thus far. The two pictures there go along well with the story. I like that Kintaro laughs with joy but then becomes serious when he sees the asteroids. This speaks towards his character that like a child, he enjoys simple things but also that he is mature to face coming challenges without fear. Great character development. Kintaro becoming nervous gives context to the daunting task ahead considering he has not shown much hesitation. I love the ending of this story. The loss of the civilization around Alpha Centauri gives great meaning to Kintaro's actions, and adds more emotions into the story. Great story, Chris!

  19. Hello Chris,
    This is my second time visiting your storybook. I bookmarked it previously because I was excited to read your story. I have to say, I am glad I did! I really enjoy your style of writing. I remember worrying about Kinatro not being able to make friends because his strength could potentially hurt them It was nice to see that he made good friends with some animals.
    As I was reading, I kept thinking to myself how much it reminded me of One Punch Man. Then, I got to your author's note and saw that you got some inspiration from it. You made that work perfectly.
    I was sad to see that he was not able to go to his home planet but he was able to return to Earth, which was nice.
    The character development was great. However, I wish there was more about the man in black.
    I enjoyed reading through your storybook! Great Job!

  20. Hi Chris,

    I found your retelling of the story via Dr Gibbs on twitter. I like the way you ended the story. I was also a little surprised by the different beginning, as I was only familiar with Kintaro through Yei Theodora Ozaki's work. All in all this was really nice and very well done. Cheers!


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