Week 3 Story: Homer's Honda Odyssey

    After speaking with Circe and the spirits of the underworld, Odysseus' crew had been told exactly what to expect for the remainder of their journey home. However, they were a stubborn bunch of men, and one piece of advice in particular did not sit with them well. Circe told them they'd have to sail right past a six-head monster (Scylla) or a deadly whirlpool (Charybdis). She said to take on the six-headed monster, because it is better to lose six men than the entire ship to Charybdis. "Six men?" they thought, "No way! We can't lose that many. There are only 13 of us left."

Image Source. Scylla and Charybdis by James Gillray

    Days later, the crew finally came upon Scylla and Charybdis. To make matters worse, it was in the dead of night when their visibility was poor. Nevertheless, Odysseus, confident in his ability to steer the ship through the whirlpool, headed straight for it. The plan backfired. The whirlpool was too strong. The ship was sucked right in, but rather than bringing Odysseus' men in with the ship, Charybdis spit them right back out in the direction of Scylla. Each of Scylla's six heads picked up and devoured one of the crew members. Content with her meal, Scylla descended underwater and let the seven remaining men live, struggling in the middle of the ocean with no ship.

    Odysseus and his crew prayed to Zeus for hours and hours, but nothing. Eventually, they saw a small dot coming in over the horizon, which got bigger and bigger until they were confident it must be someone coming to save them. "It must be Zeus! He heard our prayers!" one crew member exclaimed. After what seemed like a very long, slow, arrival, it turned out to be the god of thunder indeed. "Zeus! You have come to save us, but you come in a...minivan?" said Odysseus, sounding utterly disappointed and ungrateful. Zeus struck back: "You fool, you have gotten yourself into this situation despite being warned to steer clear of Charybdis. You should be lucky that I am coming to save you at all." Odysseus' face turned red. "Besides," continued Zeus, "this van has exactly seven seats, and it was all I could afford to rent right now. And you wouldn't believe how hard it was to make this thing drive on water."

Image Source. 2019 Honda Odyssey.
The Fun Family Minivan.

    And so it would be that Odysseus and friends would finish the final leg of their Odyssey in a Honda Odyssey. Zeus handed Odysseus the keys and ascended back to his domain in the sky, wishing the crew well. Thanks to the Odyssey's 5-star overall safety rating, they returned home safely to Ithaca without suffering any more losses.

Author's notes: This story is based on Homer's The Odyssey. Following the Trojan war, Odysseus, King of Ithaca, embarks on a 10 year journey home with his crew and 12 ships, with only Odysseus alive on one remaining ship by the time they reach Ithaca. Along the way, Odysseus encounters gods, goddesses, and other famous characters in greek mythology who guide him. My story provides an alternate ending to The Odyssey in which the final ship is destroyed, and the few remaining men must make it home in a Honda Odyssey given to them by the gods.